Social Anxiety Disorder, anxiety, anxiety attack, stress management, anxiety social, shyness

Assertion is the ability to communicate your thoughts, opinions, needs and feelings in an open, direct, honest and appropriate manner. People who live with Social Anxiety Disorder often find it difficult to relate assertively as they do not believe they have the right to speak up or voice their own opinion. In any recovery program it is important to learn the skills of assertive communication, and believe that you have the right to say what is important to you. The development of this skill is also dependent on developing a sense of self worth and self esteem.

	Feeling good about yourself and valuing yourself
	Believing that you have the right to express your opinion and get your needs met
	Respecting the rights and needs of other people
	Having the ability to express yourself with others, rather than holding everything inside
	Having the ability to choose how to respond to people and different situations according to your needs

How you communicate is part of your general style of relating. There are three styles of relating that are important to understand. Passive, Aggressive and Assertive. We will look at each one in detail.

People who relate in a passive manner often find it hard to take action to meet their own needs, often putting others needs before their own, or relying on others to meet their needs. People who relate in a passive manner often become resentful to others, hurt and angry as they believe they do not have the right to have their needs met. Many people who live with an Anxiety Disorder relate to others in a passive manner. Relating in a passive manner often erodes self esteem, and can often exasberate anxiety.

People relating aggressively usually believe that they know what is best for others. They often attempt to control others without taking other peoples needs into consideration. As with relating in a passive manner, relating aggressively is usually associated with low self esteem.

People who relate assertively are able to recognise and express their feelings, thoughts, needs and opinions in an open and appropriate manner, as well as being able to listen tot he needs, opinions and feelings of others. When you are assertive, you can choose how to relate to people and situations rather than continuously acting passively or aggressively, believing you don't have any choice. When you can make choices how to relate, and are satisfied with those choices you will feel in control rather than resentful or angry. When you are assertive you do not need the approval of others, and believe in your own opinions. You are very clear about what is important to you while taking into consideration what is important to others. You are more likely to compromise and negotiate in situations as well as take responsibility for your own actions. As a result you will tend to develop a high self esteem and feel good about the choices you make, as well as have more control over your life. Being assertive will help to decrease high levels of anxiety.

It is important to be aware of how you relate to others. If you recognise problems in your style of relating, perhaps it is time to change and become more assertive. There are many courses on assertion skills training, books and trained therapists who can assist you in this area.

This site is not intended as a means of disseminating medical advice. If medical advice is required it is advisable to seek expert medical assistance. This site contains links to other sites, practitioners and therapists providing health related materials, treatment and therapies. However, the content and materials, treatment and therapies provided by these third party sites, practitioners and therapists, are not produced by nor are they the responsibility of the author of this site.